By Tom Schreier -
According to hockey lore, the Minnesota Wild spawned from the seventh ring of hell at the turn of the century.
Y2K caused hell to freeze. The stir-crazy sinners needed entertainment, so they created a hockey team that trapped their fans in a Sisyphusian loop. They would always win in the regular season and lose in the first round of the playoffs.
Minnesota’s Man-Bear-Pigs became a heinous creature that fostered hope in November and despair in April. They’re forever good enough to make the playoffs but can’t beat the league’s best teams in a series. As a result, they never have good enough picks to add the high-end talent they need to contend.
They push the rock up the hill for seven months, only to watch it fall after seven games.
The Wild’s road to perdition started this year when they told Jesper Wallstedt to rent an apartment in the Twin Cities. However, they couldn’t keep him on the team because it’s almost impossible to carry three goalies. He’s only played two games with Minnesota and has an 88.1% save percentage in 21 games with the Iowa Wild.
Minnesota brought Kirill Kaprizov back from injury for a 4-0 loss to the nameless Utah team in late January, only to shut him down the next day. He underwent the knife for a groin injury, and Bill Guerin recently said he doesn’t know how long Kaprizov will be out.
Matt Boldy and Marco Rossi are Minnesota’s leading scorers in Kaprizov’s absence. The Wild have Boldy on a long-term contract, but they’ve hesitated to commit to Rossi. After Joel Eriksson Ek’s injury, Rossi is Minnesota’s only viable top-six center.
The Wild could turn to Ryan Hartman, whom they extended for three years, $12 million two offseasons ago. However, Hartman is serving an eight-game suspension for smashing Tim Stützle’s head into the ice. He probably would have served less time, but he has thrown a stick at the refs and slew-footed Alex DeBrincat.
Still, the Wild inspire hope as the eternal flames of damnation engulf you as you sip your morning latte. They beat the Dallas Stars after Kaprizov initially suffered his injury and the Colorado Avalanche to curtail a mid-January losing streak. They came out of the 4 Nations break with a come-from-behind win over the Detroit Red Wings.
Minnesota’s latest devil magic is turning Vinnie Hinostroza into a secondary scorer.
After suffering myriad injuries this season, the Wild turned to the AHL’s leading scorer for some offensive insurance. Hinostroza didn’t have a goal in 13 games with the Nashville Predators when Minnesota claimed him off waivers on February 5. However, he has three in his first six games with the Wild.
Hinostroza had two in 26 games with the Buffalo Sabres two years ago and one in 14 games with the Pittsburgh Penguins last season. Hartman’s childhood buddy has heated up in his absence. Hinostroza is starting to look like the player he was in 2018-19 when he scored 16 goals for the Arizona Coyotes and in 2021-22 when he had 13 in Buffalo.
The Wild have bargained with the devil before.
They turned one of their young fans into a franchise cornerstone. Brock Faber had seven goals total with the Gophers and 27 points in his final college season. However, he averages eight goals and 33 points per 82 games in the NHL. Joel Eriksson Ek averaged six goals in his first four seasons, scored 19 in his fifth, and 30 last year. Rossi had no goals in his first 21 games and 21 in the past two seasons.
Minnesota might need to sell its soul again. It must keep Kaprizov healthy and set Wallstedt up to join Filip Gustavsson in net next season. It needs Hartman to be Elmer’s glue, not Elmer Fudd.
However, groin injuries are complicated. Sometimes, players can play through the pain; other times, it saps their production. Maybe Kaprizov wanted to test it before undergoing the knife. Wallstedt has had a mental reset and an 88.9% save percentage since January 25. Perhaps Hartman’s latest suspension is a wake-up call.
Good intentions pave the road to perfection. Wild always push the rock up the hill. The momentum occasionally stalls, but they usually keep it moving. Sometimes, they strike fear like John Looney; sometimes, they act like Looney Toons. Still, they always captivate our attention.
One day, the Wild may push their rock over the hill. However, everyone will sweat it out until then because there’s always a little too much heat around a team that plays on a sheet of ice.
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