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  • What If the Entire Wild Roster Went To Disney World For All-Star Break?

    Image courtesy of Aaron Doster-USA TODAY Sports
    Mikki Tuohy


    With All-Star Break coming up, everyone in the NHL is busy planning a vacation (except for the poor suckers who have to go to Toronto). As a bonding trip, the Minnesota Wild should probably visit the Happiest Place on Earth. It will pick up their spirits after the difficult way their season is going.

    Here is a look at how a trip to Magic Kingdom would go.

    The instant the team makes it through the entrance to the park, Brandon Duhaime spots the castle and takes off running toward it. In his excitement, he is almost run over. Thankfully, Connor Dewar has helpfully purchased a child leash harness to keep track of him and keep him safe. 

    Jared Spurgeon makes everyone gather around a nearby park bench to look at a map and plan their day. Matt Boldy manages to sneak off to get an ice cream cone while everyone is distracted. At the same time, Marcus Foligno spots a vendor selling balloons and promptly buys one for everyone. He ties a balloon onto everyone’s wrist and makes them promise not to take it off. 

    Spurgeon has determined that the best way to conquer the park is to go left and circle around and back to the entrance. But before they go to Adventureland, Dakota Mermis makes everyone stop to take a picture in front of the castle. The Enchanted Tiki Room is somehow the first stop, and it almost drives Ryan Hartman crazy, but he manages to keep his composure.

    Pirates of the Caribbean is next up. Jake Middleton is beside himself with glee. He even buys himself a fake hook, an eye patch, and a pirate hand from the gift shop. Middsy insists on spending the rest of the day dressed as a pirate, much to Joel Eriksson Ek's chagrin, who gets embarrassed once the dress-up lasts more than an hour.

    Frontierland is next. The team splits up because only a few of the players want to go watch the Country Bear Jamboree. While Duhaime, Dewar, Rossi, Faber, Foligno, Freddy Gaudreau, and Pat Maroon watch the delightful singing and dancing bears, the rest of the guys ride the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. Dewar and Rossi wish they could join the roller coaster group, but Duhaime is too excited about the bears for Dewar to leave. Rossi accidentally raises his hand when they ask who wants to watch the Jamboree and is too polite to correct the mistake.

    Tom Sawyer Island is a good excuse for some of the young ones to run off some of their energy after sitting through a musical show. They try to play tag, but after almost injuring several children while fleeing the tagger, Marc-Andre Fleury puts his foot down and makes them leave the Island to move on to Liberty Square.

    Filip Gustavsson is a little bit bummed because he's the only one in the group who wants to go to the Hall of Presidents. Foligno doesn’t want him to be sad, so he gets the rest of the group to go along with Gustavsson. While watching the show, Mats Zuccarello accidentally falls asleep and starts to snore. Marcus Johansson elbows him in the ribs to wake him up, but Kirill Kaprizov can’t stop giggling about it for the rest of the show.

    The Haunted Mansion is next. As the Stretching Room brings them down to the start of the ride, Daemon Hunt is enchanted with the process and can’t stop squealing with glee as the pictures reveal their secrets. At the end of the ride, the Hitchhiking Ghosts join the players, and Duhaime gets a little scared because he doesn’t want a ghost to follow him home. Gaudreau is quick to reassure him that it was just a magic trick.

    Fantasyland is next on the agenda. The “It’s a Small World” ride is a must for everyone. Jonas Brodin passes out earplugs to anyone who wants them. The next few rides pass in a blur as they ride the Carrousel, the Dumbo ride, and the spinning tea cups. Rossi happily rides the Carrousel a few times in a row because it is his favorite ride. Zach Bogosian is pumped because he somehow got his own Dumbo to ride in so he can control the up-and-down movement without fighting with someone else. Vinni Lettieri gets off the tea cups feeling sick to his stomach because Jon Merrill wouldn’t stop spinning it as fast as he could.

    Tomorrowland is the last stop of the day. Everyone rides Space Mountain and seems to enjoy it, so Foligno decides that they need to get souvenirs as a bonding experience. He rushes off into a gift store shouting, “Follow me, guys!” and everyone does. Foligno is scurrying around the store as he looks for something to commemorate their day. After some hemming and hawing, he decides everyone will get personalized mouse ears. He was a little worried that would be cliché, but Spurgeon assures him it isn’t.

    The day isn’t quite over because the gang wants to watch the Main Street Electrical Parade. While they wait, Duhaime says he doesn’t feel good. Dewar reveals that Duhaime has had approximately 12 cups of Dole Whip because every time he passed a stand selling them, he conned one of his friends to buy one for him. Boldy gets a little miffed with waiting. He stomps off, coming back with some pizza and a light-up wand. Faber’s had a long day, so he falls asleep, but Brodin gently wakes him up so he doesn’t miss the parade.

    Once the parade and fireworks end, it’s time to head back to the hotel. But don’t worry. Besides the mouse ears and the balloon, each player got another souvenir.

    Zuccarello and Kaprizov get matching coffee mugs.

    Foligno took ten million pictures and is already planning how to make a photo book with them. He also impulse buys a $400 figurine of Minnie Mouse.

    Rossi decides that he wants to collect pins the next time he comes, so he starts his collection with a few from the gift shop.

    Ek buys a puzzle with a picture of the castle on it. It has 5000 pieces.

    Middleton buys a fanny pack with Goofy on it that he will cherish for life.

    Gustavsson buys a book of Disney trivia that he reads on the way to the hotel.

    Hunt searches everywhere for the most stylish shirt he can find. He chooses a tie-dye shirt with a picture of Mickey Mouse on it.

    Merrill buys a mini backpack with Lilo and Stitch on it.

    Bogosian and Maroon each remote-controlled cars with Mickey Mouse inside to race each other.

    Dewar buys a fancy pen. It costs $25, but it seems like a good use of money because he personalizes it with his name.

    Faber buys two Mickey Mouse slap bracelets, one for each arm.

    Duhaime buys a reversible bucket hat. One side says “Disney World 2024,” while the other has a busy cartoon pattern of Disney characters. He also buys a model kit to build the Haunted Mansion.

    Brodin buys a Disney World frame that he has personalized. He can’t wait to hang it on the wall.

    In a change of heart, Hartman buys a giant Tiki Room sign to hang up at home. He decides it wasn’t actually that bad.

    Johansson buys a Nike branded visor that says Walt Disney World over the brim.

    Fleury buys a Haunted Mansion goblet. He might use it in his Halloween costume next year.

    Boldy buys a Mickey Mouse watch with a leather band. Sophisticated.

    Gaudreau buys a glass jewelry box with the castle etched on the top. He’s going to store candy in it.


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