By Neil Urbanski -
“It is going to be alright. It’s all good!”
“This team is so awful. I’m angry!”
“Listen, this is exactly what you’d expect to happen, so really, it is what it is. Just go with the flow, bro.”
Odds are that when you think of the Minnesota Wild right now, a phrase that sounds like one of the three above starts running through your head. Whichever one it is, it’s also likely the same phrase that runs through your head most of the time.
Sports fans tend to fall into one of three categories. Scroll through the comment section on any sports website. You’re likely to see each one of them battling for the souls of the other two in an increasingly escalating debate that eventually dissolves into a bunch of fiery declarations about who lives in their parents’ basement and who just needs to open their eyes and “actually watch the games.”
And let’s be honest, we’re lucky if it stops there.
But we here at Hockey Wilderness are a civilized bunch intent on delivering wholesome content to our loyal and knowledgeable readers. So, instead of rehashing the same conversations you’re likely to find in the comment sections on lesser sites, what you’ll see here today is what happens when three highly rational, completely objective hockey fans engage in a spirited discussion about how the Wild will fare in this year’s Stanley Cup Playoffs.
In one corner, you have Optimist Brian. In the other, Peter the Pessimist. And up there, perched from the rafters and taking in the big picture, is Rational Randy.
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The prompt: The Minnesota Wild will find playoff success this postseason and win at least one round.
Optimist Brian: They can definitely do it! If you don’t count the past two months, the Wild are basically one of the best teams in the league. No reason they can’t ramp it back up in April with all their big guns.
Peter the Pessimist: Listen, good hockey is like jazz music – I know it when I see it, and with this bunch, I haven’t seen it in a while. Plus, I mean, if we’re not counting the past two months, I’ve only gained four pounds since Christmas. So why don’t my pants fit then?
Rational Randy: The way I see it, you can’t win or move comfortably in your pants if you’re not healthy, so of course, the Wild have been struggling lately. I believe that answers Peter’s question as well. Let’s see what happens if everyone gets healthy and the Wild can give opponents a healthy diet of Kirill and Co. every night. Time will tell, fellas.
Optimist Brian: That’s exactly what I’m saying! We all know that when the Wild put the pedal to the medal and play their game, they get rewarded for their efforts. In general manager Bill Guerin, we trust! This is the guy who finally got Kaprizov to come over and who led the team to the best regular season in franchise history.
Peter the Pessimist: Listen Brian, would I trust Bill Guerin to spin a good yarn and pick up the tab at the bar? Absolutely. Do I trust him with my hockey team? Sorry, but that ship flew the coop when he handled the team like he has this year. And really, even before that, things started getting weird.
Rational Randy: Well, the way I see it, going into the season, the Wild weren’t expected to be as good as they have been so far, so we have to keep that in mind. Have they been as good as we would have hoped? No. But they haven’t been awful either. Time will tell what happens. We just gotta let the universe unfold as it will, bros.
Optimist Brian: Well, listen, the universe unfolds according to the will of the hockey gods, and this year, they have to be on our side! I mean, the Wild put on their hard hats every game and go to work, and they’re bound to get rewarded with some puck luck at some point. Why wouldn’t this be the year they finally do? It’s the final year of Flower Power, after all. The gods be with us, I say.
Peter the Pessimist: What in the name of Manny Fernandez are you two blabbering on about? The universe and hockey gods don’t win you hockey games! It’s Xs and Os, execution, being a well-oiled machine, and star power. And right now, the Wild are headed down the home stretch looking like the rickety sled in Cool Runnings, and the team’s stars are being held together with duct tape.
Rational Randy: You know, Peter, some people have used duct tape to do some really great things. I had a wallet made out of it for all of middle school. The Wild’s chances have definitely gotten worse with all the injuries they’ve had, but all you really need is a chip and a chair, and then once the cards are dealt, it’s all up to fate. Time will tell. Let’s just sit back and enjoy the ride, dudes.
Optimist Brian: You’re damn right I’m gonna enjoy the ride! How many teams do you know that could survive this many injuries to key players and still be pretty much a lock to make the playoffs? You know why? It’s because they have the intangibles and put the pieces in place to succeed. Their goalie tandem features an emerging star and a sure-fire hall of famer.
They have a great mix of young talent and steady vets who all know their roles. Look at Marcus Johansson. He’s practically the Greek god of off-puck neutral zone positioning. That’s the stuff you need to win!
Peter the Pessimist: Oookay. Let’s unpack this for a second, Brian. Your rationale for the team making a playoff run is that the Wild played well to start the season, they have a backup goaltender who they’ve barely played in the last month, and because they have Marcus freaking Johansson? What in the name of Justin Fontaine are you smoking? Randy, come on, this guy’s nuts, right?
Rational Randy: Well, I can see both of your points, really. There’s a lot to be said for having a veteran presence in the room, and Fleury is known to have been a valuable mentor to young goalies in the playoffs. And Johansson does bring some defensive value, but Greek god is a little over the top.
So yeah Peter, Brian’s probably smoking something. But that’s just his journey, man, just like the Wild are on theirs. Time will tell what happens, compadres.
Optimist Brian: The Wild won this week! They are the best!
Peter the Pessimist: The Wild lost this week. They suck.
Rational Randy: You win some, you lose some, bros.
Optimist Brian: Let’s go Wild! Let’s go WILD!
Peter the Pessimist: Uhh yeah…I’m gonna go. Randy, can we be done here?
Rational Randy: Sure thing, fellas. Rational Randy abides.
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