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  • Three Ideas for a Minnesota Wild Sitcom

    Image courtesy of Joe Nicholson-USA TODAY Sports
    Mikki Tuohy

    I grew up in the golden age of Friday-night sitcoms. I know all of the tropes and the storylines. Every sitcom had a trip to Las Vegas or Disney World, depending on the amount of children in the show. And they always had a happy ending. Perhaps that is a contributing factor to the fact that I wear rose-colored glasses everywhere, but especially when it comes to Minnesota Wild hockey.

    Things seem pretty dire right now. The Wild are eight points out of a wild card spot, and no one knows if they’ll be able to claw their way back. The logical, rational part of my brain completely accepts that. But the overarching positivity that runs my life is still convinced the Wild will make the playoffs despite the odds. I always love a good Cinderella story.

    There is one person in the Wild organization who has the same idea: none other than general manager Bill Guerin. In a conversation about this, I made a quip about how Guerin and I could be the Odd Couple, and thus, a story idea was born. So, I’m happy to present to you a few takes on a Minnesota Wild sitcom.

    The Odd Officemates

    In pretty much every other way, Billy G. and I are nothing alike. That’s not to say that we wouldn’t get along. But while he’s loud and boisterous, I take a more cautious approach until I know you well enough to be weird. I feel like he’d be urging me to speak up while I would be telling him to take the volume down a few notches.

    Every episode, there would be some sort of front office crisis that probably stems from a miscommunication. Having a mix-up on which theme night is when and having to end up celebrating a mashed-up Star Wars and Pride night (which would be awesome, by the way.) Trade deadline day would be an episode where we carried around seven different phones and mistakes were made when we forget who called on which one.

    In the end, everyone is able to laugh about the shenanigans. There would even be a two-parter centered around the equipment trailer fire with a cliffhanger ending for the first one. Will the Wild round up enough equipment? Or will they be forced to forfeit the game completely, affecting their standings in the playoff race?

    Boys Meet League

    Boy Meets World was an essential show for my microgeneration. So many of us followed Corey and Topanga from the beginning all the way through college. There was plenty of discussion about whether they could make it, despite all the odds against them. Obviously, they did. And no matter what happens in real life, this is a perfect fit for all of the young guys: Brandon Duhaime, Connor Dewar, Matt Boldy, Brock Faber, and Mason Shaw

    Follow along as the boys find their way in the league against all odds. They’ll have storylines where they stand up to bullies by fighting them on the ice. Boldy will make his way to the All-Star Games and the Deweys will follow in secret, making sure that Boldy doesn’t make any other friends that might lure him to another team.

    The Trade Deadline episode will be tense as the boys become distant, afraid of what might happen. But they band together and make sure that none of them get traded away. Mason Shaw’s knee injury would make a great Very Special Episode when he gets through the injury and initial surgery. It would then be a throughline of the season as he struggles to get back onto the ice.

    Two Goalies, An Enforcer, and a Pizza Place

    Hypothetically, what if Filip Gustavsson, Marc-Andre Fleury, and a rotating cast of enforcers owned and managed a pizza place? At first, I was going to just pick one enforcer, but it was hard to choose. So I’m making them a rotating cast because they’ll just be part-time employees.

    Think of the shenanigans! Fleury continually pulls pranks until one day, he doesn’t. Gustavsson and Foligno must band together to figure out why, without being too obvious, of course. Another time, Fleury and Maroon must come up with a way to tell Gustavsson that they don’t need to makeover their pizza place with a puzzle theme.

    And then, of course, a special episode where both goalies accidentally schedule their vacations at the exact same time and they’re both non-refundable! They must leave their pizza place in the capable hands of Foligno, Maroon, and Bogosian. Jake Middleton would guest star as the friend they get to keep tabs on the place. Somehow, the enforcers aren’t able to see through a range of very obvious disguises.

    No matter what, the Minnesota Wild will be doing their best to get into the playoffs, no matter what fans think. So fans might as well support them.

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    Might I suggest a Perfect Strangers where one Russian phenom and his pal the Norwegian Hobbit share an apartment in St. Paul perhaps instead of Chicago.

    Otherwise, I'd like to see a season of Step by Step - Minnesota Wild. Instead of classic babe Suzanne Somers and Patrick Duffy, it's just the Wild working on adding the prescribed 10-25lbs of pure mnfaninnc-muscle, face offs, and special teams until they're back in playoff contention. Of course, it wouldn't be nearly as funny as Cody and his shenanigans.

    Now another great one would be to get the boys barking and adding more power like Tim the tool-man. Perhaps somebody can peek over the fence and give Guerin some neighborly advice on how to improve the team over the off-season.

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    Every time NoJofa walks into the locker room he says "hello!" and it's right after Hartman says to Zuc "you should have seen this noodle I saw at the grocery store"

    (see: Squiggy)

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    I have an idea for one of the episodes,  it will have everyone hanging on to the edge of their seats  will be the number #1  re-tweat on twitter  for days  .  im thinking multiple emmey award nominations .fonnzzy 33.heic

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