How Did the Wild Players React To the Latest Taylor Swift News?

Just in case you’ve been living under a rock, let me present some new news to you:

Taylor Swift is releasing her 12th album, “The Life of a Showgirl,” and dropped the news on her NFL player boyfriend Travis Kelce’s podcast New Heights. So, join me in some rampant speculation on how the Minnesota Wild players reacted to the news and which song matches best with each one.

The Team Swiftie

Jonas Brodin is well-known for being a Swiftie. It is delightful to think that Brodin woke up to the news while living his best life in Sweden during the offseason. There is no doubt that he ordered at least two special edition CDs. 

The Delight of Mama Moose

Marcus Foligno is well known as Mama Moose in online circles. He’s the best kind of girl dad, and it wouldn’t be surprised if Taylor Swift is on repeat in his house. When the New Heights podcast teaser dropped, it wouldn’t be a surprise if Foligno let out the squeal heard round the world, and he wouldn’t be the only one. 

The Fate of Ophelia

Out of all the players, Filip Gustavsson seems to be the one most likely to get the Hamlet reference and understand what the song is about. He’ll be the one explaining things to the other players about this track.

Elizabeth Taylor

For some reason, Jared Spurgeon popped to mind for the title of this track because he seems like the kind of man who appreciates old Hollywood. Can’t you just imagine him curled up on the couch with his wife watching Cleopatra or Cat on a Hot Tin Roof?

Opalite

There are two different ways to go with this one. The first is that Zach Bogosian is an outdoorsy frontier-type man, and rocks are right up his alley. On the other hand, Mats Zuccarello seems like he could become really interested in gemstones and crystals if he had the time.

Father Figure

We all know that Spurgeon is the team's Dad, but if this song is anything like the George Michael song of the same title, it feels like something that Jesper Wallstedt would jam to. Remember the times he’s danced around in his little goalie pads in the middle of a game? 

Eldest Daughter

Now, this should be self-explanatory, but this is absolutely going to be Joel Eriksson Ek’s anthem. As the player who deals with the most BS and does it happily and willingly, Ek is the team’s eldest daughter by a long shot.

Ruin the Friendship

Ryan Hartman and Vinnie Hinostroza are lifelong buddies who played hockey and football together growing up. They’d probably sing this to each other ironically.

Actually Romantic

Nico Sturm (welcome back, king!) seems like the type of guy who could put together an amazingly romantic gesture. He’s quiet and thoughtful and will probably love this.

Wi$h Li$t

While Kirill Kaprizov isn’t a super flashy guy, he's Russian, and they’re well known for their luxurious lifestyles. So this seems like something he, Yakov Trenin, and Vladimir Tarasenko would heavily approve of.

Wood

There’s been tons of speculation about what this will be about. Hollywood? Natalie Wood? But we all know that Jake Middleton heard this and teehee’d for a while. It is what it is. 

CANCELLED!

I’m so sorry, but Marco Rossi fits here simply because Bill Guerin is cancelling him. I’m so sorry, Marco. We love you.

Honey

Zeev Buium is our rookie baby and deserving of every cutesy nickname out there. Thus, honey.

The Life of a Showgirl (ft. Sabrina Carpenter)

As the title track and with Sabrina Carpenter next to Taylor, it’s a given that this song will be an absolute banger. Brock Faber will fall in love with it and be in his showgirl era, and his sheer enthusiasm will make Matt Boldy love it, too.