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  • Guest Post: Why you should hate the Avs


    But this post isn't about why I don't like the Avs. It's about why you shouldn't. Merely meeting in the first round isn't enough and building division rivalry takes a bit of time. You could throw all your hate-stock into the fact that this is essentially the postseason rubber-match between your two teams if you want, but I'll warn you that if you find an Avalanche fan that even remembers the 2008 playoffs (let alone the 2003 postseason), you're dealing with a hockey fan who can take way more hate than you can throw at him or her, since that person has taken all the hate that Avs owner Stan Kroenke could throw at the concept of putting together a winning hockey team and still somehow chooses to support that franchise.

    Say what you will about Craig Leipold, but people don't really doubt that he actually likes hockey. Meanwhile, the real-life version of Doug Dimmadome cares just enough to trick his team's fans into watching, but not enough to demand excellence in any facet of the team's operation other than the balance sheet. Don't believe me? Ask fans of the Rams, Nuggets, or Arsenal. He owns all of them too, along with the Pepsi Center, the television station that broadcasts all the Avalanche games, and even the Ticketmaster clone that sells service fees for the right to see them in person.

    None of this is really bad per se. I'm just saying that you're not going to find a lot of purchase doing anything other than pitying the kind of fan who willingly gave support to the businessman who had a gift-wrapped cup team stripped of its soul and rebuilt on a facade thinner than when McDonald's starting redesigning their fast food joints to look more like European coffeehouses. Those people aren't fans, they're acolytes, and there's no reasoning with them.

    The other half of the still laughably-small fanbase? Those are your standard-fare dipshit frontrunners and you all already know what they're like. The only difference is that these dipshit frontrunners drive Subarus.


    I made up one of those names, BTW. If you're not sure which one, that's the point.

    But hey, hatred isn't all about the past, nor is is all about how a despicable group of sports-hating shitbags have always run the team they didn't deserve to get results their idiot fanbase didn't deserve. There's plenty to hate about the current incarnation of the Avalanche too.

    You're all probably aware of the cute angry-uncle antics of crazy asshole Patrick Roy, but it's really only cute from a distance. If you were the owner of a junior hockey team, an

    or perhaps even his wife, you'd see an easily-recognizable pattern of an entitled brat who throws temper tantrums at the slightest provocation. Sure it's funny the same way that Joe Pesci's anger in Goodfellas was funny. the only difference is that Pesci got a satisfying ending. Roy keeps getting praise.

    So go on, Wild fans. Hate the Avs like you should. It's the right thing to do.

    JJ is the managing editor of SBN's Red Wings blog WingingitinMotown and is well known for his witty and trolling pieces. It's a win-win to have him rip the Avs :)

    Think you could write a story like this? Hockey Wilderness wants you to develop your voice, find an audience, and we'll pay you to do it. Just fill out this form.

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