Jump to content
Hockey Wilderness
  • 5 Stages of #LOLMNSPORTS Grief


    I think we can all agree though that we are grieving. We grieve for our inability to beat the Blackhawks in the playoffs. We grieve for buying expensive fricken tickets to Round 2 games only to see our team lose. We grieve every time Suter sends a weak-wristed shot into the legs of a defender 5 feet away from him.

    To help you with your grief I have decided to take you through the 5 stages of Grief: #LOLMNSPORTS Edition.

    Stage 1 - Denial

    Welcome to stage 1--you're in denial. The Wild never had a chance to win this series. Get a clue, will you? Move on. In fact, move on to...

    Stage 2 - Anger

    You're right! This isn't fair. The refs screwed us. Fire Yeo. Where the hell was Vanek? Did Koivu even play this last series--no seriously. I'm being serious for real. Suter is overrated and he isn't living up to his contract. Trade the whole team and rebuild!

    Welcome to stage 2--you're angry. Guess what? The team you saw this year is going to be the team we see next year. The only players we can trade are younger guys or 3/4 line guys. All of the people I bitched about above? They fricken have NTC or NMC in their contracts. Get used to seeing Suter continue to play on the PP1. Get used to Koivu doing something defensively or something in the face-off circle but not much else anywhere else.

    The good news though? Vanek will continue to backcheck the shit out of opponents on every play in every game. But I'm sure this team can change and find success in the playoffs next year. If only we...

    Stage 3 - Bargaining

    Stage 4 - Depression

    But the veterans don't deserve all those minutes. Granlund is overrated. Suter on the powerplay is like a bad joke that gets told over and over and over again. Coyle is a glorified 3rd liner. Yeo can't coach is way out purse (Get it? Because Coach is a type of purse. Here, I'll say the joke again: Yeo can't coach his way out of a purse!). Ah, who are we kidding here. The hell with it...

    Stage 5 - Acceptance

    Let's face it: this team will start out hot next year, suck ass from middle of November to February and then start to claw its way back into the wildcard picture.

    Welcome to LOLMNSPORTS. When you start feeling secure and confident about your team it rips your fucking heart out.

    Think you could write a story like this? Hockey Wilderness wants you to develop your voice, find an audience, and we'll pay you to do it. Just fill out this form.

    User Feedback

    Recommended Comments

    There are no comments to display.

    Join the conversation

    You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
    Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

    Add a comment...

    ×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

      Only 75 emoji are allowed.

    ×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

    ×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

    ×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...